When it comes to you and your wedding, planning can become stressful. Especially when, without realising, you somehow find yourself planning a wedding based on what other people want or expect, and the “you” gets a little lost in the details. Before you know it, your wedding may no longer feel like your wedding…
I think most of us who have planned our own wedding have felt this in one way or another. It’s so easily done. A lot of it may come from good intentions too. But ultimately, I feel it’s important to remember what you want, as in you : the couple actually getting married.
What makes you, you?
What represents you?
What will get you grinning from ear to ear all day, embracing it all and loving every minute of your wedding day?
What do you want?
Such simple questions, but they can become tricky when wedding planning, and can be the cause of great stress.
From who to invite (should your relative get an invite on the pure basis that they are related to you, even though you haven’t seen them in decades?)…
What to wear (what would people say if I don’t wear white?)…
What to eat (should you order something you love knowing most guests won’t eat it cooked a certain way?)…
Before you know it, you’ve completely lost yourself and worst of all, it’s making you feel stressed and dreading the planning of what should be the happiest day of your life. Does this sound familiar?
When told to tone it down
As a wedding supplier, I get affected by this too in a way. Recently, for a photoshoot between suppliers to showcase an incredible local venue, a supplier said they would be happy for me to provide the floral displays, if I was able to follow the brief, not use colour, and most of all “tone it down” generally.
At first, I found myself worrying about her words, and what I should do. Especially as I was keen to be featured on this photoshoot. Then I realised that clearly, this supplier does not like my style. And that’s ok.
I appreciate that my website and instagram are fairly bright colour wise, and will not appeal to all. But that is me. I love, love, love colour! I decided early on when creating my business that the whole point of running my own business was to do what I loved most, and that included colour. I believe colour can be added in numerous ways into our lives. I believe in bright funeral flowers to celebrate life. I believe in a living in a colourful home. And yes, I believe that one can have beautiful, bright, bold colourful wedding flowers.
Of course, that’s not all I do. I also love working on different briefs, and enjoy a new challenge. In fact, I had white and green flowers for my own wedding as my favourite colourful flowers were not available at that time of year. But overall, my style is definitely “colourful”.
Love and trust
When it comes to being able to follow a brief, any supplier in the wedding industry will work to one, to ensure that their clients’ wishes come to life beautifully on their wedding day.
On many occasions in Bristol, couples would tell me they wanted pastel tones for their wedding flowers. I would make sure that they had seen images of my work, and more often than not they had, stating they loved my style and they wanted me to do their flowers for them. Ultimately, it’s all about confidence and trust.
The same goes for planning your wedding : choose suppliers whose style you love and trust, this will allow a better client / supplier relationship, as well as ensure you’re happy with the result. It’s a two way process.
All in all, I recognise that this supplier and I have very different styles, and we are simply not compatible on this particular project. However, this has given me a great opportunity to truly focus on the suppliers I’m keen to work with, and the types of weddings I enjoy working on the most.
It also got me thinking about planning weddings in general, and yes, that includes your wedding.
What makes your heart sing
Unless the wedding magazines, the trends and the “must haves” showcase a style that represents you as well as a style that you love, I would advise you not to worry about them too much.
It should be about you, the happy couple. It should be about what makes your hearts sing, what makes you you!
The great thing about weddings these days, is the variety and different styles and suppliers available.
Whatever style of wedding you love and would like to have as your own, your perfect suppliers are out there for you.
First of all, you simply need to identify what you’d love on your wedding day. And then find the best people who can make it happen.
Perhaps the venue is the most important thing on your list, whether you have always dreamt of getting married in a French chateau, or perhaps a rustic French farmhouse with a great barn is more you.
Maybe it’s all about the feast, so naturally France appeals to you with all its glorious food and wine.
It could be that the music is the biggest thing on your list, wanting to party the night away with everyone, and the French will dance until the early hours of the morning on any good wedding!
Of course, you will want beautiful flowers to help you celebrate the happiest of days celebrating you and your love for another … ( I am a wedding florist afterall so had to sneak that in didn’t I!)
Remembering what it’s all about
Ultimately, it all comes down to remembering what it’s all about. Celebrating your union, your love, in the best possible way. Surrounded by loved ones, laughter and happiness.
The best photoshoots I have worked on have been with the incredible Heartfelt Vintage in Bristol, where my creativity and skills were always fully embraced and I was encouraged to bring it all out for the shoots. These were always the most fun and the most satisfying to work on. I would get to see a whole range of incredible wedding suppliers doing what they do best, to bring a vision to life. Wedding suppliers love what they do, so choose the ones who share your vision.
The best weddings I have been a part of, have been the ones where you can feel the love as soon as you walk into the room. Weddings where everyone helps out. Whether it be with the set up, the cake or simply being with the couple in the morning as they get ready. These weddings always make me so grateful for being part of your special day.
In these times, more than ever, weddings should be filled with love, from start to finish. And if colour happens to make your heart sing, let me know! 😉
Does any of the above resonate with you? How did you handle it? Would you do anything differently?
What is/was the favourite element to your wedding that truly reflects you as a couple? I’d love to hear from you, let me know.