What Next?

Everytime I find myself asking “what next?”, the same voice pops up, reminding me to be patient, and not to worry about that just yet.

A Year Ago…

A year ago this week, we had our offer on our house in France accepted. We had already left Bristol back in March 2018, so had been house-less and job-less since then, viewing approximately 30 houses before finding the one. Since finding it, things have fallen into place all around it.

It has been a busy year since then… The following week, I started working in Ruffec. The kids started in their new schools in September and we moved at the end of that month.

A Year Later…

Now, a year later, I find myself reflecting on where we are. I find myself constantly thinking “what next?”. My feet have barely touched the ground and still I find myself thinking I ought to be doing something else.

Without fail, whenever I think this, or say out loud, those around me remind me that it has been a busy year already, we’ve hardly sat idle! We moved abroad, I started a new job, Barry became self employed, the kids both started in new schools and have become fluent in French, Barry is picking up French too, we’ve started a new gîte business which has been successful from day one, we bought the house next door, rented it out as a holiday let for a few weeks before finding a long term tenant for it without even looking for one…

And yet, still that inner voice persists, asking me : “what next?”…

Inner Voices

These voices have always been here, and over the years, I have started recognising them, being able to greet them like old acquaintainces, friends in a way. The impatient one for instance, always wanting to stay on the move, multitasking and always worrying about “what next?”. And on the other hand, the other voice, the warm one with the golden glow, and a smile of an old wise man, laughing it off (actually, more of a soft wise chuckle), reminding me to be in the Now, make the most of the present moment. And what will be, will be.

I have others, but these are the main ones at the moment. The ones battling it out.

Whenever I find myself starting to get imptatient, worried… the soft voice reminds me to wait, to simply be. Part of our motivation for moving to France was to take a step back in a way, enjoy more time as a family and live a simpler lifestyle for a while. Everyone seems to have embraced this fully, yet part of me struggles to let go fully.

Slowing Down

Having lived a busy lifestyle for a long time, it’s taking me quite some time to unwind, going from being incredible busy, to barely being able to get up, I am yet to strike a balance in that area.

However, slowly, the calm, soft voice is making itself heard over the impatient one. I’ve started reading again. I’ve begun reading the kids bedtime stories again at night, giving me one on one time with both of them at the end of a busy day, which we all enjoy. We’re even starting to think about our first family holiday in a long time!

I’m also writing again. I’ve been wanting to write again for a while, but kept placing it at the bottom of my to-do list.

So all in all, I don’t currenlty know what will be next. What I do know, is that my intuition has always helped me in the past, so I will try my best to listen to the wise old voice in me, and simply be in the moment more… for now anyway!

Do you find yourself battling between wanting it all now and simply enjoying the moment? What do your inner voices battle about? I’d love to hear your thoughts if the above article resonated with you in any way.

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